She couldn't put her son on the bus for a school =
field trip=20
last fall. Instead, she drove her 6-year-old to the =
National=20
Aquarium in Baltimore herself.
As much she's recovered from a harrowing bus crash =
when she=20
was a college freshman, there are still some obstacles =
she's=20
yet to overcome.
"I was more disappointed for him," she said =
recently. "I=20
don't know if I was disappointed in myself. I feel =
like I'd=20
given myself every opportunity to deal with it. One of =
the=20
lessons I learned is that you don't get over it. You =
learn to=20
live with it."
Aside from an aversion to riding on buses, though, =
it's=20
amazing how much the 34-year-old Annapolis mother of =
two has=20
healed from her injuries.
The accident occurred on Jan. 24, 1992, as the =
Notre Dame=20
swim team, of which Mrs. DeMaria was a member, headed =
back to=20
campus from a meet in Chicago. Two members of the team =
were=20
killed, and Mrs. DeMaria's spine was crushed.
Outwardly, there are no signs of the six major =
surgeries=20
she's endured and the initial diagnosis of paralysis. =
Inside,=20
she still has one large metal rod, and significant =
numbness=20
and loss of sensation. "If you told me at 18 I'd have =
to deal=20
with (these) problems, I'd be devastated," she said. =
"But in=20
perspective, they're minor."
Not surprisingly, Mrs. DeMaria doesn't like to =
dwell on=20
what happened to her. All the evidence is either =
stored away,=20
like her tortoise shell-like back braces, or kept in =
the=20
basement, where several articles written about the =
crash=20
andvarious honors bestowed upon her hang on a =
wall.
Miraculously, she learned to walk again after the =
accident,=20
and even returned to competition 21 months later. =
"Incredible"=20
is a word that friends and colleagues use often when =
they=20
describe her. "Inspirational" is another.
Mrs. DeMaria's been talking about her life recently =
because=20
she's written a book about the crash, not to glorify =
her=20
accomplishments, she said, but with the intention of =
helping=20
others by using her experiences as an example.
"There's a reason I've healed the way I did, and =
keeping it=20
to myself is almost selfish," she said.
"What Though the Odds - Haley Scott's Journey of =
Faith and=20
Triumph," is due to be released this week by =
Nebraska-based=20
Cross Training Publications.
"It's kind of a 'Rudy' story," said Gordon =
Thiessen, owner=20
of the publishing company, "but it's ... a swimmer =
overcoming=20
incredible odds."
The book's title is taken from part of the Notre =
Dame fight=20
song, and was written with the help of Texas Tech =
University=20
mass communication instructor Bob Schaller.
"I tell her story to swimmers once a year on the=20
anniversary date (of the crash)," said Notre Dame =
men's=20
swimming coach Tim Welsh. "Even though it was 16 years =
ago, I=20
still think of my life as before the accident or after =
the=20
accident."
Mr. Welsh was the women's coach at the time and was =
on the=20
bus when it skidded off the road in a snowstorm. He =
thinks he=20
may have suffered a broken rib in the crash, but that =
pales in=20
comparison to Mrs. DeMaria's injuries.
Dr. Jeanette White, a local physician who reviewed =
the=20
medical information in the book, called what Mrs. =
DeMaria went=20
through from the crash and subsequent painful recovery =
"hell=20
upon hell."
"I don't think a lot of us could have achieved what =
(Mrs.=20
DeMaria achieved)," she said. "Her story is a model =
for all of=20
us to follow of what is possible."
Down but never out
Mrs. DeMaria said she recovered through the sheer=20
perseverance of a teenage athlete, faith, family, =
friends and=20
the relentless support of the Notre Dame =
community.
"It was just amazing, the support and the love," =
she=20
said.
One example of her attitude toward her injuries is =
embodied=20
in wind chimes that hang from a shelf in the home she =
shares=20
with husband Jamie and sons James and Edward, 6 and =
4.
The chimes were made from cut-up pieces of two =
metal rods=20
that used to be in her back. "It's kind of sick =
humor," she=20
admitted.
But that's the mind-set needed when doctors tell =
you to=20
accept that you'll be paralyzed, and then after =
managing to=20
defy them by standing up, you realize you can't =
walk.
"Humor is so healing," she explained. "We laughed a =
lot=20
during that time. You have to laugh, or else you'll =
cry."
Mrs. DeMaria, who is a stay-at-home mom, kept =
extensive=20
journals during her rehabilitation and tried to write =
her=20
story many times over the years without success - =
until=20
recently. Enough time had passed, she said, to gain =
the proper=20
perspective on the crash and its aftermath.
"The facts of my injury and recovery haven't =
changed, but=20
what I wanted to show in the book is the journey," she =
said.=20
"The triumph over tragedy.
"Right now, I have a really good life. I have a =
wonderful=20
husband, wonderful children. If I had to go through =
what I=20
went through to get to this place, it was worth =
it."
Mr. Schaller, who has written several other books, =
said he=20
was attracted to the project because of Mrs. DeMaria's =
indomitable spirit. He wrote the first part of the =
book,=20
providing the kick-start Mrs. DeMaria needed.
"She has so much courage (and) she did her story =
with so=20
much dignity," he said. "I'm proud of her. She's the =
single=20
most impressive person I've met."
Added Chuck Wielgus, executive director of USA =
Swimming,=20
who'd like to see Mrs. DeMaria's story made into a =
movie: "She=20
embodies all the things coaches like to see in an =
athlete and=20
parents like to see in a child."
Show and tell
Mrs. DeMaria's children know she was hurt in a bus=20
accident, but not all the details because they're =
still young.=20
She'll them more when they're older, she said.
Jennie Burke, an Annapolis resident and former =
English=20
teacher whose children go to school with Mrs. =
DeMaria's sons,=20
read through the manuscript and "couldn't put it =
down."
"Her story gets worse, worse, worse," Mrs. Burke =
said.=20
"It's indescribable (how she recovered). I love her. =
Anyone's=20
lucky to be in her world."
For her part, Mrs. DeMaria doesn't like to dwell on =
the=20
"why me" aspects of the crash, nor all the unpleasant =
things=20
that followed. It's just not her way.
"While it certainly is with me every day and =
defines most=20
of what I do, it all hasn't been negative," Mrs =
DeMaria said.=20
"That's a choice you make, not to have it dominate =
your life=20
in negative ways.
"There's lots of positives, (like) the goodness of =
the=20
human spirit. I've met so many wonderful people who =
truly=20
care. I don't know if I'd have had the opportunity to=20
experience that if I didn't go through this. That's =
who I want=20
to be for someone else."
For more information, visit the Web site at http://www.haleybook.com/.
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